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Ronald then realizes that he must attend to his class at night in a private college - school
He just misses seeing his seatmate - named: Bernard ! Bernard who is related to the canine family of St. Bernard's, is an alcoholic freak guy who loves cuddling her female Japanese schoolmates during recess time in the pool, while sunbathing. Ronald, then went home after seeing Bernard, saying - woof, woof, bow wow wow - meoooooow !
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Posted: 2004-12-23 15:00:44
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WTF
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Posted: 2004-12-23 21:08:06
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Ronald managed to pull himself together. Evidently passing through the space-time continuum was causing him to hallucinate. He felt so thirsty. Unless he found a drink quick he would continue to think such mental thoughts about cats and dogs. He gently made his request: "Well actually I think ScotsboyUK's posts are the most interesting on the whole of Esato, I would love to tell you more but I am really so thirsty. Do yiu have a glass of water by any chance?"
"First put on this pink feather boa then follow me to the drinks room" replied Sonia.
Just then a man flew into the room screaming "This man is a fraud! We want Ronalt not Ronald! Throw him into the ante-reversal multiplication chamber!"
Ronald knew he had to do something - and quick. He grabbed the nearest ...
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Posted: 2004-12-23 21:08:00
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place he could grab onto, and he grabbed sonia's boa. unfortunately, it was all that she was wearing.
"OH MY GOD YOU'RE A MAN!"
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Posted: 2004-12-23 21:11:47
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said Sonia, after Ronald had revealed her scaled, pus-oozing flesh. "A typical man! It's not enough for you to hijack our award but you want our bodies as well!"
Ronald took the boa and quickly tied one end to a nearby pole jutting out. He took a jump a swung, tarzan-style, the other side of the ship. Sonia sounded the red alert, but it was too late. Ronald had already made it to the time travel machine and quickly beamed himself back down to earth. However he did not have time to set the year, which was on the default of 0.
The next moment he found himself crash landing on the head of a sandal-wearing, peaceful looking guy. "JESUS-BLOODY-CHRIST!" exclaimed Ronald. "Who are you!"
"My name is Jesus" answered the man.
"Don't take the p*ss out of me" answered Ronald.
"Sorry my son, I do not understand." answered the sandaled man. "What is p*ss and who are you?"
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Posted: 2004-12-23 21:53:00
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"I'm yo daddy!" said Ronald. "Now godammit stop fu*king with my head and tell me who you are!"
Jesus replied, "Son, I AM JESUS, and if you dont believe me i'll beat the living shit out of you!"
"Ok, fine," Ronald replied, "But i gotta warn you - people will use your crucifixion day to give each other presents and all that other stuff!"
"Oh god damn it i give up!" said Jesus and shot himself in the head.
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Posted: 2004-12-23 21:56:58
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Ronald immediately realised the gravity of what he had done. If there would be no Jesus, there would be no tinsel in the world. Therefore he decided he would have to act the part himself. He quickly grabbed the sandals just in time to hear a shout behind him from a Roman:
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Posted: 2004-12-23 22:09:00
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"Hey Jesus, would you like to participate in some Romanism?"
Ronald had no clue what that was, but being adventurous, he said,
"Certe! Peroptato amori! OH snap! I can speak Latin!"
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Posted: 2004-12-23 22:40:02
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All of a sudden there was a flash and Ronald found himself back on the Opal ship.
"Ha! We managed to timewarp you back" said Sonia.
Ronald as quick as a flash jumped up and pressed the warp button before Sonia could get his clutches on him.
He immediately found himself in a sports car in the back seat. The car seemed to be going very fast in some sort of tunnel. There was an indian man driving and a blonde, short haired lady in the passenger seat.
The driver was just saying "Oh Diana, just wait until you try my mother's chappatis" when he noticed Ronald in the rear-view-mirror.
"My goodness gracious me", he said. "It's Ronald Christ in the back seat!"
He was so shocked that he lost control of the car and it crashed, killing both him and Diana. Ronald miraculously was not hurt.
Ronald realised he had to get away from the scene - and fast. He came up with an ingenious plan...
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Posted: 2004-12-24 01:05:00
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Before somebody finds out about the crash, Ronald managed to drag himself to a nearby forest and hide. He also made sure he covered his tracks and was careful that no blood from his wounded head dripped on the ground.
He stayed on the forest until he was strong enough to execute his plans. He survived using the herbs that he could find to heal his woulds and to nourish himself, feeding also on insects and occasional small animals that wander around the forest.
After three days...
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Posted: 2005-01-03 05:51:37
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