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Posted: 2011-11-07 20:04:19
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I played a football match against a bit of my furniture last night.
It was a drawer.
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Posted: 2011-11-07 20:24:29
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Posted: 2011-11-07 20:30:37
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Posted: 2011-11-07 20:55:10
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Very well said bonovox.
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Posted: 2011-11-08 09:45:28
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On 2011-07-19 23:40:53, Bonovox wrote:
Just after my wife had given birth,I asked the doctor "how soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"
He winked at me & said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes-meet me in the car park"
After Michael Jackson had attended the birth of his son, he asked the doctor, "how soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?", and the doctor answered: "You will at least have to wait until he's two years old."
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Posted: 2011-11-08 11:13:15
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it at that. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I would like to offer my condolences on your great loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."
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Posted: 2011-11-08 23:13:22
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Altemyr, nice one.
Alex,
I've just quit drinking
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Posted: 2011-11-09 06:18:06
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I've just seen Michael J Fox at the garden centre. I knew it was him cos he had his back to the fuchsias.
BREAKING NEWS: The man trapped in the upholstery machine is now thought to be fully recovered.
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Posted: 2011-11-14 07:26:20
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In the last ten years we have lost
Johnny Cash
Steve Jobs
Bob Hope
Jimmy Saville
So now we have...............
No cash
No Jobs
No Hope
And no f**ker to fix it!!!!!!!
I just bought some of the 007 James Bond viagra
It makes you Roger Moore
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Posted: 2011-11-17 20:37:46
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